It's Your Damned Language

Express Yourself

2011-12-28T08:05:00.000-06:00

McDonald's is pimping their McCafe espresso coffees furiously on television commercials lately. The guy doing the voice-over on the commercial unmistakably says "expresso."

Really?

Previous Store - Next Store

2011-10-25T07:11:00.000-05:00

I saw an old high school buddy's post on Facebook this morning that used the words "next store" instead of "next door."

An egg corn first for me. Amazing.

Phonetics

2011-09-13T06:40:00.000-05:00

Saw this a couple of weeks ago and chuckled.

Impact This!

2011-08-29T07:19:00.000-05:00

With every natural disaster (earthquake, hurricane, etc.) comes the prolific overuse of the word "impact." I don't recall hearing the words "effect" or "affect" used once during the coverage.

Hmm...

2011-06-25T08:53:00.001-05:00

Wednesday I got home from work and greeted the cats, Kitty and Baby, as I usually do. I grabbed the key to the mailbox and informed the cats I was going to fetch the mail. On my way out to the mailbox, it occurred to me how many different ways my declaration to the cats could’ve been taken by someone overhearing me:

“I’m gonna check the mail, cats.”
Informing felines I’m going to the mailbox.

“I’m gonna check the mail, cats.”
Informing cool people I’m going to the mailbox.

“I’m gonna check the mail cats.”
Declaring I’m going to check up on feline mail-deliverers
Or
Declaring I’m going to check up on the cool mail-deliverers

“I’m gonna check the male cats.”
Announcing the sex of the felines I’m going to check.

I’m gonna check the male, cats.”
Informing felines I’m going to check out some dude.

News Box Office

2011-06-06T16:38:00.001-05:00

There's this web site I discovered while Googling Weiner (Sorry. I couldn't resist!) stories. My first thought was that the site was written by a non-native speaker of English. But the more I read, the more it seemed like it might have been pieced together by a computer, using various other sites as its information source. What do you think? Here's the story. And here's the link to the homepage of the site.

NBC Nightly News Crawler

2011-04-28T05:32:00.001-05:00

Unlike some of the local stations here in San Antonio, the NBC News crawler gets corrected pretty quickly. This correction was done in less than a minute.

Before

After

The Power of Words

2011-04-13T04:05:00.001-05:00

http://www.wimp.com/powerwords/

Hmmm...

2011-04-12T04:01:00.001-05:00

I saw this response to a post of a picture on a friend's Facebook wall.

Poker? I Hardly Know 'er

2011-03-27T09:41:00.002-05:00

While watching Sunday morning television, I usually browse the Internet using the Firefox add-on Stumbleupon. One of the random sites I hit this morning was the United Kingdom site MailOnline. Specifically, there was a page dedicated to Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima (It was random, I swear!). The picture posted herein was displayed about halfway down the page. I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of “poker dots.”

Now…Off to ponder more serious things – Like why I noticed this boo-boo among all the scantily-clad fabulousness on this page!

Don't Be a Butt

2011-03-08T18:56:00.003-06:00

I couldn't snap a picture of it, but KENS5's crawler-typist is at it again today. From this morning:

"It's everything butt..."

Conjunction, noun, verb, adjective. Whatever. It sounds like the right word. ;-)

Oops

2011-03-08T18:52:00.003-06:00

It looks more like Mr. Sheen is wielding a machete, not wearing one. And let's not forget that little hyphen they forgot to include in this boo-boo.

Winner Takes The Price

2011-02-25T19:09:00.005-06:00

I can't tell you how many of these errors by KENS-5 I've not posted. Amazing!

Clarity

2011-01-31T20:07:00.000-06:00

I saw a commercial on television today that struck me as having a very ambiguous ending: “Our diabetic consultants are standing by to talk to you.”

Are their consultants diabetic or are they people who consult with diabetics?

Hmmmm…..

Vocabulary

2010-12-26T05:37:00.001-06:00

Typography from Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.

Does She Say Pasghetti, Too?

2010-12-22T06:09:00.003-06:00

“…but the employees got away in a Houdini-like ekscape.”
“…the thieves ekscaped before the cops even arrived at the scene.”

Noelle Gardner, reporting on local robberies this morning on the KENS 5 morning show.

I'm not commenting on the KENS 5 news crawler, which has a number of misspellings on it today.

Bon Jour, Nullard!

2010-12-12T07:47:00.014-06:00

The Bourbon Street Seafood Kitchen has a local commercial that has succeeded in bugging the hell out of me: they pronounce the word e-t-o-u-f-f-e-e with the accent on the second syllable when it should be on the first and third: Étouffée.

I went to the restaurant’s web site and found a number of grievous misspellings, inconsistent spelling, typographical errors, and erroneous punctuation.

On the bright side, the place gets pretty decent reviews.

I was going to comment on all of the screen shots, but I’ve yet to master aligning pictures & text in Blogger.

I will comment on the second picture, however: I’m thinking “kid fried” is supposed to be “kids’ fried” but secretly hope it was supposed to be “kid-fried” to indicate they have child chefs preparing only the finest adolescent fare for discerning palates. ;-)

Lyrics

2010-12-02T18:11:00.002-06:00

Watching NBC Nightly News tonight, I saw a piece about a dude named Cee Lo Green, formerly of Gnarls Barkley. They talked about a song he did with a two-word title, the latter word being “you.”

So I Googled Cee Lo

And found THIS

And loved it

And posted it here

Because the lyrics are so clever

And the epithets are so appropriate

Doo-Doo

2010-11-18T07:46:00.003-06:00

I was watching a piece on the NBC Today Show entitled "How Safe is the Food at Your Local Mall?"

One of the official violation reports cited in the piece used the word "excretia" in reference to mouse shit. Interesting word.

Profanitude

2010-11-08T14:14:00.006-06:00

On my way home today, I drove by a small retail propane business while traversing the boonies of far west San Antonio. As is the case with nearly every propane proprietorship I’ve ever seen (and remembered), the business name was emblazoned in big, black letters on the side of a large propane tank. It was something like:

Immediately I wanted to get myself some paint and make it into this:

How awesome would that have been???!!!???

It would’ve been both dastardly and grammatically correct!

Say What?!

2010-10-31T16:26:00.007-05:00

I found this site after my girlfriend asked me about changing back to Standard Time.

Wow.

To Err is Human

2010-10-31T11:16:00.002-05:00

Last week NFL Today General Manager Charley Casserly said, in part, "...error on the side of caution." I let it slide as a boo-boo.

Charley was on NFL Today again today and said: "...error on the side of caution."

Dear Charley: Error is not a verb. Err is.

Hmmm...

2010-10-31T06:45:00.003-05:00

STEAM'ABLES

I'm not sure why the apostrophe was included in this product's name, but I am sure I don't like it.

Sacrifice

2010-10-31T06:41:00.004-05:00

Oops...

Chi-What?!

2010-10-09T14:14:00.002-05:00

There's a news dude named James Villa who does, well, news - on a local a.m. radio station (550 KTSA) here in San Antonio. Today he was reporting on those trapped miners down yonder in Chile and, when referring to the miners, he said (I'll spell it phonetically) "Chilanians." I heard him say it twice during two different news breaks, at least an hour apart.

Freakin' Chilanians! That's a hoot.

Mom

2010-08-29T06:25:00.001-05:00

My dear mother, a former graduate-level English (ESL) professor, passed away in 2004, much to my heartbreak. Over the years (slowly), I've been going through her physical and computer files. I love coming across some of her old exercises. There aren't many, because she passed most of her material to her protégé in 1999 when she retired.

My mom's students were all foreign, of course; some were high-level executives from huge international corporations; others were just regular ol' grad students from other countries. In addition to being exposed to superior academic brains during my formative years, I had the good fortune to be exposed to many people from many countries and cultures whom I encountered regularly at school functions, parties, and while hanging around on campus during my summer breaks. Those experiences, academic and social, have served me so well over the years. I owe my mom, her co-workers, and all her former students much...Thank you.

PRONOUN REFERENCE

Try to identify the antecedent of each numbered pronoun below. Is each clear, ambiguous, or incorrect?

John and Bill own a business together. It is a small shop which repairs cars. They are old but experienced in all kinds of small engine repairs. They are not very complicated, fortunately. John has told Bill many times that he needs an accountant to take care of the books that could also be a partner in the business. This seemed like a good idea, so they hired an accountant that soon became a partner in the business. He was happy with the arrangement. They provided him with an apartment and a car. It was new and clean.

Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones own two companies, the XYA and the BCD. They make a good profit each year, and they will expand operations to the West Coast, which is a good idea. They will include some exporting to Australia and New Zealand. They decide on San Francisco and Seattle as the two location, and they will open in 1990, which is good from the standpoint of their employees.

You Say Potato

2010-07-18T07:14:00.001-05:00

This was likely an inadvertent omission, but they still put it up ;-)

Ay, Caramba!

2010-07-18T07:08:00.001-05:00

I was dismayed to see this catastrophe at one of my favorite (and one of the best) Mexican restaurants in town.

WTF?

2010-06-29T05:11:00.000-05:00

Lion burgers? Really? WTF? Arizona gets loonier and loonier every day.

Facebook

2010-06-23T03:28:00.000-05:00

Facebook is the mother lode of illiteracy.

Skillz

2010-06-15T05:02:00.000-05:00

I know I really shouldn't be suprised by the piss-poor writing and language skills of our population, but this is ridiculous! I lifted this off a message board:

"I the Man all this for little ole me :-) why thanks.... You on all that stuff okay thats good an all, But I don't really care as I said the first time kids went there an now my sisters kids go there also.So what was up when they were having the ceremonies at school an my sisters best friend as well as her Aunt weren't allowed to go in because they didn't have children there?Its one big fire hazard also the way they have the entry as well as the gates locked all the time. Oh well like I told my sister to each his own.Well have to pack off to Spain again you would think I would get used to it by now.Talk back at ya'll in amonth or so"

Ingredients

2010-05-30T07:52:00.000-05:00

I found this little gem at a web site while looking for steak marinade recipes.

- "Alcahol"
- "Worchester"
- Missing parenthesis
- Inconsistent capitalization

Nice

Sic, I Tell ya

2010-05-30T04:42:00.000-05:00

This one's for Laura over at Terribly Write.

The author of this Yahoo! News article is either complicit in the perpetual dumbing-down of the U.S., or he's just dumb himself, and doesn't know the word sic would've been appropriate here:

Wash Me

2010-05-23T06:53:00.001-05:00

I never, ever use too much mud to wash my car ;-)

This sign has been making me chuckle for weeks. I finally remembered to take a picture of it yesterday.

Chilling Misspelling!

2010-05-10T08:15:00.001-05:00

Refridgerator artwork in a little shop in Wimberley, Texas. Oops!

Censored

2010-04-26T05:24:00.000-05:00

Shortly after getting my LG EnV3 telephone (through Verizon), I paid for and downloaded a mobile version of Scrabble. It didn’t take me long to notice that certain words were verboten – evidently censored by Hasbro to keep its customers safe from our evil English language.

I wasn’t so surprised by the omission of some of the more profane words in my vocabulary, but when I was prohibited from playing the word butt during one of my turns the other day, I cried bullshit. I was sitting in my doctor’s office, and quietly muttered, “That’s bullshit,” which earned me a couple of looks from fellow sickos.

Amazing.

While we’re on the topic of censorship…

I had a comment censored on a newspaper’s web site this morning. That’s right – a newspaper – Defenders of the First Amendment. It seems the Corpus Christi Caller Times took issue with the egregious epithet hell in one of my posts. The funny thing about that is the fucking word wasn’t even in the fucking post! It was just a fucking URL. Here’s a screen shot.

Number One, Number Two

2010-04-09T04:14:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my longtime blogger buddy Ivy for sending this gem of a typo to me!

Touching

2010-04-07T02:56:00.000-05:00

I shot this gem at the marketplace in Waikiki Beach last month.

Egg On Their Faces

2010-03-27T08:31:00.000-05:00

“Separating eggs are a hassle.” - From a television commercial by the folks at EZ Cracker, makers of some hokey egg-cracking contraption.

Sick Up And Fed

2010-03-07T08:55:00.000-06:00

Over the last few days, at home and at work, I’ve been bitching and moaning about the use of the word impact as a verb. It exists today in dictionaries as a verb, but the English teachers and professors I’ve spoken to on the topic say nay to that use. More important: I despise it. :-) Even if you believe its use is grammatically proper, you've got to agree that it's way, way, way overused.

Have you ever wondered how it became fashionable to use impact as a verb? I can’t prove it, but I’ll bet you a shiny nickel someone started using it because they couldn’t remember when to use effect and when to use affect.

I have the same hypothesis on the very common misuse of reflexive pronouns (myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves.) in place of object pronouns: me, us, you, him, her, it, them, whom and whomever.

Oops!

2010-02-28T10:28:00.001-06:00

L O L

2010-02-17T04:50:00.000-06:00

Awkward Sentence

2010-02-15T08:41:00.000-06:00

"What was your level of nervousness?"
Matt Lauer, Today Show, 2010.02.15

"How nervous were you?" seems so much simpler.

Wow

2010-02-14T08:54:00.000-06:00

I found this gem at the Product Reviews web site while checking out potential new computers. The reviewer is a native speaker of English, but you wouldn't know that by reading his writing.

Huh?

2010-01-29T04:33:00.000-06:00

"Since August more Americans have paid more attention to the bill and more Americans are becoming more concerned. It hadn’t been a matter of he not being able to explain his policy with government take over and mandation of health care..."

Sarah Palin, 28 January 2010

Double Fail

2010-01-26T18:37:00.001-06:00

A snapshot of an advertisement for the Maune Raichle Law Firm:

Wow.

It Features He?

2010-01-26T18:27:00.001-06:00

“That’s Tim Tebow and he’s talking about a superbowl ad that features he and his mother…” Joe Reinagal – KENS 5 News, 26 January 2010

Help

2010-01-14T04:45:00.001-06:00

If you've never donated something to a country in our hemisphere, Haiti is the perfect candidate for your first.

I spent a good bit of time in Haiti in the early 80s and early 90s and assure you it is the most staggeringly impoverished nation in the hemisphere. It's not just news hype.

So take a little time to help Haiti and its poor. This is especially important after the recent, devastating earthquake.

Here are two more links you can copy/paste into your browser address bar...

American Red Cross
White House (You'll find a wait to donate by text msg)
Yele Haiti

Really.
Give a dollar or two...or twenty....or more.
I did.
You should too.
Every little bit helps.

Vocabulary Schmabulary

2009-12-29T05:18:00.000-06:00

There’s a term in photography called “vignetting.” Yesterday, while purchasing some accessories for my beautiful Nikon D90 camera, the woman behind the counter said something that nearly made me laugh out loud.

Instead of telling me the accessory I was purchasing would reduce vignetting, she said it would reduce vinaigretting. Yep – as in the dressing.

Wow

2009-12-28T10:04:00.000-06:00

"...this is the first time ever that we will have a decade where an "indesee" would actually drop..."

Stephanie Elam, CNN news, 12/28/2009, talking about the stock market. I think she meant to say, "index."

Nice

2009-12-27T13:07:00.000-06:00

MINE (English)
MIEN (French)
MEIN (German)

Synonyms and anagrams!

The Idiot's Lament

2009-12-26T19:14:00.001-06:00

Her has come
Her has went
Her has left I all alone
Oh, how can it was
– Anonymous

For the Love of David

2009-12-17T18:01:00.000-06:00

"According to this affidavid..."
Kristina De Leon, WOAI News, 12/17/2009.

More illiterater Than You Think

2009-12-06T04:32:00.000-06:00

North Dakota's hotter then "U" think
Today Show, 12/5/2009

Eggcorn?

2009-11-28T06:58:00.000-06:00

Have you ever heard of an eggcorn? Me either, but I found a great site dedicated to them - and I spent a number of minutes yesterday browsing it.

Here's the site description. Check it out. It's great!

"This site is devoted to collecting the kind of unusual English spellings that have come to be called eggcorns. Eggcorn, the word, is a coinage that goes back to the excellent Language Log. The About page retraces the history of the term and offers more information on how this site came to be.

The Eggcorn Database went public on February 15, 2005. It is a collaborative site in the sense that several contributors have access to it. In addition to me, the most active are the long-standing Language Log contributors Arnold Zwicky and Ben Zimmer. The Eggcorn Database has a forum now, with its own space for your contributions and submissions. Feel free to register and join in."

-- Chris Waigl, 2006-06-20

Go't

2009-11-22T03:02:00.000-06:00

What the Ell?

2009-11-07T18:06:00.000-06:00

"...and that is a very umbling..." - Rick Perry, again doing his best George Dubya impression, while discussing the recent shooting at Fort Hood, Texas.

The Vocabulary Triad

2009-10-21T05:17:00.001-05:00

"This is a bad man. This is a guy who in the death chamber in his last breath spews an obscenity-laced triad against his wife."

Rick Perry, doing his best George W. Bush impression the other day for television reporters.

They Bite

2009-10-18T07:36:00.000-05:00

I took this picture while in San Diego on Business last month. Bite, a self-proclaimed "Modern California Bistro" (whatever that is) in the Hillcrest area, gets a failing grade in grammar.

Click for a better view.

Kyra Phillips

2009-09-28T13:07:00.000-05:00

This is the second appearance on this humble blog for Ms. Phillips.

While reading the following quote on the air today, she subsituted the word abhor with the word despise.

"I have three kids, so I abhor sex offenses." - John Carleton
"I have three kids, so I despise sex offenses." - Kyra Phillips' version of the same sentence.

Why dumb it down Kyra?

In another story, she pronounced the word Illinois as Ellinois. Hmmmm...

Homophone Boner

2009-08-04T17:11:00.002-05:00

This is late submission is courtesy of myself; it's been a while since I cleared my camera's memory card :-) The boner is courtesy of KENS 5 News of San Antonio.

Denali, The Great One

2009-07-30T05:16:00.000-05:00

And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature's finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it's the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn't it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? - Sarah Palin, 7/26/09

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah

2009-07-28T05:52:00.001-05:00

"It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future." -- Sarah Palin, 7/26/09

Thesaurus

2009-07-26T07:13:00.000-05:00

The Chaos

2009-07-20T07:25:00.000-05:00

THE CHAOS
by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité
(Netherlands, 1870-1946)

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Originally transcribed by Pete Zakel .

Freestyle Rap Battle - Translated to English

2009-07-12T11:13:00.000-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The Report

2009-06-20T07:50:00.000-05:00

Even one of my favorite comdedians!

Sculpt This!

2009-06-08T19:58:00.000-05:00

I got this from one of my all-time favorite bloggers. Ivy doesn't blog much any more, but she is quite active on a different plane. Thank you for this fabulous catch.

This little gem comes courtesy of WFAA's Cynthia Izaguirre.

"Artist sold a sculptor. Personally I'd rather buy a sculpture, you don't have to feed those."

Ivy

English as a Second Language

2009-05-30T07:45:00.001-05:00

The writer of this article needs some quality time with a dictionary (or spell checker) and a teacher of ESL. The rest of the “news” site is just as awful.

Why someone would start a news site with writers who don’t have a grasp of the language in which the articles are written is beyond me.

USFidelis

2009-05-26T15:05:00.000-05:00

It seems automobile warranty company USFidelis needs to find an ad agency that is true to English grammar rules. Here are two snapshots of a commercial I saw on television today (Credit to Dear Shelley for alerting me!), and one I found on the USFidelis web site.

An apostrophe might be in order here.

Hyphenate it or make it two words.

Wasn't this covered in a remedial punctuation lesson in fourth grade?

Slacker

2009-05-14T18:51:00.000-05:00

Fret not; I haven’t committed blogicide. Life has simply consumed me. I’ll be back. I promise.

Tea Party Fail

2009-04-27T05:02:00.001-05:00

And The Winner Is...

2009-04-22T04:54:00.001-05:00

My modest, little blog was recently bestowed the Kreativ Blogger Award by language-blogging friends Wordacious and The Punctuator. Thank you both for thinking of me and for the kind words about this small-time, hobbyblog.

By accepting this award each recipient agrees to follow the accompanying rules: 1. Post the award on your blog, and link to the person who gave you the award. 2. List seven things you love. 3. List seven blogs you love. 4. E-mail or comment on those blogs to let the people know you’ve given them the award.

Seven loves:
1. My kids
2. Shelley
3. The sea
4. Cooking
5. Genealogy
6. Fishing

Because one of my other blogs was also selected for this, I’m only listing language blogs, some of which have already received this award. Here are my seven favorites:

1. A Walk in the Words
2. Apostrophe Catastrophes
3. The Punctuator
4. Red Pen, Inc.
5. Terribly Write
6. Lower Case L
7. Apostrophe Abuse

Because I’m not the type to perpetuate chains, I’m going to end this chain here! If you read my blog, you’ll see my tribute to you; if you don’t, you won’t.

Speaking of Apostrphe Fails...

2009-04-20T18:46:00.000-05:00

Vintage Apostrophe Fail

2009-04-20T05:12:00.001-05:00

From a January 1975 Time Magazine.
Click to enlarge

Define This

2009-04-06T18:40:00.000-05:00

According to a web site I stumbled upon this evening, the word set has the most definitions of any word in the English language. I'm not much in the mood for validating that, but it's certainly a plausible contention.

See for yourself

One Day At Work

2009-04-02T05:11:00.001-05:00

Yesterday at work my boss was talking about a movie he'd seen recently. During his impromptu review, he struggled to think of the river that runs near the White House in Washington, D.C.

Quick to his rescue was one of my co-workers:

CW: "The Botanic."

Then a WTF pause by everyone.

Me: "Huh?"

CW: "The Botanic."

Me: "You mean the Potomac."

Awkward silence as everyone tried to figure out where the hell he got botanic.

Putrified

2009-03-28T15:17:00.001-05:00

I found this gem of a sign on the way home from exploring today. Click to witness the horror

What a Tool

2009-03-25T05:23:00.000-05:00

I shot this in front of a local, independent grocery store yesterday.

Resident Illiterate

2009-03-22T07:24:00.000-05:00

A sign at Gardner State Park.

Coming Home

2009-03-14T17:40:00.000-05:00

This huge banner at the University of the Incarnate Word has bugged the hell out of me for some time. Fortunately I had my camera with me yesterday.

While the imperative on this banner is grammatically correct, adjectival use of the word safe is more appropriate in this context.

I suppose the university could be imploring the troops to transport themselves home in a safe manner, but think they’re probably more concerned with the troops’ arrival home in a safe state, i.e. safe, sound and happy (not safely, soundly and happily).

Yikes!

2009-02-28T10:39:00.000-06:00

After having spent the last week out of town and offline, I spent the morning catching up on reading my favorite blogs.

While at Becky’s site, I noticed this post about Amrhein's, a restaurant in Boston (I'm just guessing on the use of the apostrophe in their name; the site's author used Amrhein's and Amrheins. Then I followed the link to the restaurant’s web site. Here are some samples of the site’s author’s grammatical skills. I just couldn't resist:

And they're not particularly technical either:

Nourish This!

2009-02-18T18:02:00.000-06:00

I didn’t have my camera with me today but…

While driving home from work I spied a pickup truck with an advertisement on the rear window of its cab. I remember but one phrase:

“NOURISHING THE BODY WITH NUTRITION”

As if one can nourish the body with electricity, pencils, salamanders, boric acid or asphalt…

Founding Fathers Edition

2009-02-15T07:56:00.000-06:00

“We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union…”
More perfect? Is that kind of like “more flawless”?

I didn’t think this up myself, folks; I heard it on a video clip from an HBO special, starring actor Robert Wuhl. Watch it if you have 20 minutes to spare.

Special, Non-English Edition

2009-02-13T18:27:00.000-06:00

I captured this egregious Spanish misspelling today in a local supermarket.

I might be a little more forgiving if I lived in Vermont, but I live in Texas, and this is way unaccepable.

In these here parts, you hear Spanish spoken in public nearly as often as English. The 2000 census showed the “Hispanic or Latino” population of San Antonio as 58.66%, in case you're interested.

The correct spelling is P-o-b-l-a-n-o, by the way. A Poblano is someone from the Mexican state of Puebla.

You’ll find plenty of Google results for Pablano, but it’s just wrong.

The Master

2009-02-11T05:35:00.001-06:00

The master of language comedy: Mr. George Carlin

Will anyone ever be able to do what he did with our language?

See!?

2009-02-10T05:22:00.000-06:00

"See. They went to the furtherest guy."
Hubie Brown, February 8, 2009, while covering the Spurs/Celtics basketball game

The Heart Disease

2009-02-08T16:55:00.000-06:00

Interesting headline.

Wow

2009-02-08T13:22:00.000-06:00

"SHIT DONT WORRY PRETTY SOON THEIR BE LESS PEOPLE GOING TO JAIL AFTER YOU LEGALIZE MARJUANA SO GET USE TO IT BLACK AND MEXICAN OUT NUMBER YOU GUYS GO OUT AND VOTE AND TAKE A DRINK FROM THE CUPMARY CHRISTMAS" - A post on a message board by some dude in response to a gang unit being brought back in San Antonio. Holy shit.

You're in Amurca - Part II

2009-01-30T05:19:00.000-06:00

You may recall my January 17th post about a scholarly soul urging Amurcans to sign an online essay to make English the United States’ official language.

Some scholar wrote this in that same thread the other day:

"We do need to ban ESL concepts in public schools. The only way for non-English speaking children to learn EFFECTIVE English to succeed in college and the work environment is immersion in English only."

My response:
”That's just about the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Are you suggesting non-speakers of English be immersed in the American populous to learn the language? Right! The average American citizen can’t write, speak or punctuate his or her way out of a wet paper sack, let alone teach someone English. Just take a look at some of the posts in this thread.”

Curry Ain't So Hot

2009-01-28T18:18:00.000-06:00

"...and in Kenya, where some of Barack Obama's relatives lives..."
Ann Curry, NBC News, January 2009

I forgot to write down the date. Sue me.

Flyer

2009-01-26T17:38:00.000-06:00

House Keeping

and Make Ready's

The Galloping Granny's

A flyer from a local small business.
I'm too lazy to scan it today

There Should Be a Law

2009-01-18T13:15:00.000-06:00

The above screen shot is the first paragraph of a lawyer’s review of a software product I was thinking about buying today. His writing rivals the spew I see (and cringe at) on internet message boards.

While I acknowledge that not everyone can be a lex machine, it’s hard to forgive a college-educated professional for this kind of writing. His homophonic faux pas is even worse. Council? Are you kidding me?

No Espeeka The Eenglish

2009-01-17T15:28:00.000-06:00

So posted some dumbass who calls herself jedimasterwendy (aka Wendy Higgins) in an internet forum. I won’t post a link to the forum, but I will send you to the online petition she urged everyone to sign (my signature is #249): happy reading. Not surprisingly, she doesn’t possess anything close to mastery of the language she so yearns to see become legally official.

Here’s a link to her Myspace page if you want to see some more grammatical blunders. Though most of the content isn't surprising, her claim to be a college graduate is.

Stunning.

Oh, Go On!

2009-01-16T18:15:00.000-06:00

Have you ever heard someone use the term “going forward”?

I absolutely despise it! I first noticed it about two years ago, and have been hearing it more and more every year – mostly from corporate brass.

Am I the only one who hates it?
Say it ain’t so!

Again?

2009-01-16T09:04:00.000-06:00

"...There is no reports of..." Right-wing radio jock Sean Hannity talking about yesterday's plane crash in New York - 15 January 2009.

I listen to Hannity only to keep tabs on what the Dark Side is doing.

She Feels

2009-01-12T04:36:00.000-06:00

“She feels very passionately about giving a voice to those who otherwise would not be heard, and is very honored to tell stories from the Permian Basin.” From an unidentified writer on the KWES News web site.

Breaking The Law

2009-01-10T06:48:00.001-06:00

Not even my favorite television show, Law and Order, gets a break. The home in this episode belongs to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson.

What's Wrong With Our Schools?

2009-01-07T17:51:00.000-06:00

“…But there is big changes in store…” David Mazza, WOAI morning news, 7 January, 2009.

Jesus H. Christ. Is grammar being taught anywhere any more?

Kyra Phillips

2009-01-05T13:10:00.000-06:00

“The Secretary of the State and the governor has to sign the certificate of appointment…” Kyra Phillips, CNN, 5 January, 2009

This woman has one of the most severe noun/verb agreement issues I’ve ever witnessed. This is but one of the many instances of improper conjugation she used during the 25 minutes I watched her today. She was so bad I had to change the channel; I just couldn’t take it.

The more I watch and listen to reporters and politicians, the more I wonder what has caused this epidemic of noun/verb disagreement.