Thursday, November 17, 2005

HABLAN INGLES?

While at work today, I heard a coworker mumbling something like, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” It turns out that he was checking into cashing in some of his United Mileage Plus miles.

I had him send me the link. I browsed the web site for a few minutes, laughing until it hurt at the horrendous use of the English language. At first I thought the content was the work of a horribly inept writer and equally inept editor/proofreader. After a few more reads I realized that English was probably not the first language of the writer and proofreader. I’ll take a wild guess and say that the gig is probably outsourced offshore.

Any way you look at it someone needs firing. I wonder how stockholders or the CEO would feel about the quality of product their money is buying.

Here are a few excerpts:

SPA BODY WRAP
A body wrap is the ultimate skin treat and fully exploits the therapeutic benefits of a special formula rich in minerals which naturally cleanse, hydrate and detoxify the body.

You will feel and looked more toned and you skin will acquire a smooth glow.

You will feel re-energized and have a smoother silhouette

If a cancellation is made less than 48 hours prior to your scheduled appointment, you will lose the value of your experience.

HELI-SKIING
If you are taking ski lessons with Telluride Ski Resort, ask your instructor about bringing him/her along for a powder skiing lesson.

Our instructors have an unparalleled commitment to safety and customer satisfaction although we can be thankful that in Florida there aren't many mountains to bump into!

Should the weather be unsuitable for the safe delivery of your experience, it will be rescheduled.

BALLOON RIDE
Our pilots will contour the landscape at various altitudes as you float in the gentle breeze and enjoy the amazing landscape wherever you choose to go.

SEGWAY TOUR
As you cruise past each cities unique landmarks you will recieve a great orientation. Expect to hear heaps of unique and fascinating stories, have fantastic photo oppotunities and receive superb personal service from our guide.

GRAND CANYON TOUR
Kid prices are for children ages 2 - 11 years old.

Should the weather be unsuitable for the safe delivery of your experience, it will be rescheduled.


Okay. I can’t take any more. Check some out yourself, and tell them they need to hire me to re-write this shit! Here’s the link. Check the auction categories on the left.

5 comments:

Ivy the Goober said...

Uhhh, some of that could have been caught by spell-check, even IF there is a language barrier!

jules said...

Okay, I was gonna post one from the tv tonight, but there's no way I can top this one, Carlos. I'll save it. And my head hurt so bad from just reading what you showed us I couldn't even think about going to the link.

Tenderheart said...

That was funny!

R. said...

AMAZING!!!

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