The Good What?

I found this atrocious piece of work on Facebook.  I noticed the Instagram attribution and decided to give TheGoodQuote Instagram site a look.  What I found would make a twelve-year-old cringe.

Skillz

I know I really shouldn't be suprised by the piss-poor writing and language skills of our population, but this is ridiculous! I lifted this off a message board:

"I the Man all this for little ole me :-) why thanks.... You on all that stuff okay thats good an all, But I don't really care as I said the first time kids went there an now my sisters kids go there also.So what was up when they were having the ceremonies at school an my sisters best friend as well as her Aunt weren't allowed to go in because they didn't have children there?Its one big fire hazard also the way they have the entry as well as the gates locked all the time. Oh well like I told my sister to each his own.Well have to pack off to Spain again you would think I would get used to it by now.Talk back at ya'll in amonth or so"

Wow

I found this gem at the Product Reviews web site while checking out potential new computers. The reviewer is a native speaker of English, but you wouldn't know that by reading his writing.

Yikes!

After having spent the last week out of town and offline, I spent the morning catching up on reading my favorite blogs.

While at Becky’s site, I noticed this post about Amrhein's, a restaurant in Boston (I'm just guessing on the use of the apostrophe in their name; the site's author used Amrhein's and Amrheins. Then I followed the link to the restaurant’s web site. Here are some samples of the site’s author’s grammatical skills. I just couldn't resist:

And they're not particularly technical either:

Que Analfabeta!

I never fancied Fort Stockton, Texas the Mecca of intellect and higher learning, but this is ridiculous. Writer/reporter/whatever Roma Vivas authored this piece of work. I don’t think she knows the difference between commas and periods; and that’s just the tip of the iceberg, as you’ll see when you read the story.

Here’s a link to the story. Pictures follow in case someone at NW9 gets ejakated beefour u reed this.

http://www.kwes.com/Global/story.asp?S=9217130
Click on images

Illogical

“Prof. I inter duce myself, but I need to know about this…” -- Fellow student in a Logic class I'm taking this semester, April 2007

Horrendous

No El Write-o El Englisho

This letter was supposedly written by a Judson high school student in support of a walkout to protest a national immigration policy that had not even been implemented.

Forget the politics of this and focus on the educational implications. Grammar and writing skills are not being adequately taught in high school, if they’re being taught at all. My son’s high school does not teach either. Their “English” class is nothing more than a literature class.

JUDSON HIGH SCHOOL WALKOUT MARCH 31,2006 8:00 am

Judson Hipanics/Mexicans/Chicanos/Latino students willl walk out to support their people! Cume so that we may be heard! forget all them people who think that this is pointless because you know that if it was your people, family, and friends that you would do the same ! america is based on immigrants! america is suppose to be the land of the free! coming to america is to have a better life ! then why are you gonna take it away from people who struggle to come to america to get a better life! help your people .............put yourself in their shoes and think how would you like to be treated the way that you are treating them now ! how would you like to live how they are living now!

THINK ABOUT IT!

Sad, isn't it?

HABLAN INGLES?

While at work today, I heard a coworker mumbling something like, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” It turns out that he was checking into cashing in some of his United Mileage Plus miles.

I had him send me the link. I browsed the web site for a few minutes, laughing until it hurt at the horrendous use of the English language. At first I thought the content was the work of a horribly inept writer and equally inept editor/proofreader. After a few more reads I realized that English was probably not the first language of the writer and proofreader. I’ll take a wild guess and say that the gig is probably outsourced offshore.

Any way you look at it someone needs firing. I wonder how stockholders or the CEO would feel about the quality of product their money is buying.

Here are a few excerpts:

SPA BODY WRAP
A body wrap is the ultimate skin treat and fully exploits the therapeutic benefits of a special formula rich in minerals which naturally cleanse, hydrate and detoxify the body.

You will feel and looked more toned and you skin will acquire a smooth glow.

You will feel re-energized and have a smoother silhouette

If a cancellation is made less than 48 hours prior to your scheduled appointment, you will lose the value of your experience.

HELI-SKIING
If you are taking ski lessons with Telluride Ski Resort, ask your instructor about bringing him/her along for a powder skiing lesson.

Our instructors have an unparalleled commitment to safety and customer satisfaction although we can be thankful that in Florida there aren't many mountains to bump into!

Should the weather be unsuitable for the safe delivery of your experience, it will be rescheduled.

BALLOON RIDE
Our pilots will contour the landscape at various altitudes as you float in the gentle breeze and enjoy the amazing landscape wherever you choose to go.

SEGWAY TOUR
As you cruise past each cities unique landmarks you will recieve a great orientation. Expect to hear heaps of unique and fascinating stories, have fantastic photo oppotunities and receive superb personal service from our guide.

GRAND CANYON TOUR
Kid prices are for children ages 2 - 11 years old.

Should the weather be unsuitable for the safe delivery of your experience, it will be rescheduled.

Okay. I can’t take any more. Check some out yourself, and tell them they need to hire me to re-write this shit! Here’s the link. Check the auction categories on the left.