Amazing [Dis]Grace

On tonight's evening news, KENS 5 reporter Karen Grace used the word "magistrated" as a verb.

This is the second time I've heard that usage.  Back in 2006 WOAI reporter Kristina De Leon used it.

Ugghh....

Huh?

"Since August more Americans have paid more attention to the bill and more Americans are becoming more concerned. It hadn’t been a matter of he not being able to explain his policy with government take over and mandation of health care..."

Sarah Palin, 28 January 2010

Vocabulary Schmabulary

There’s a term in photography called “vignetting.” Yesterday, while purchasing some accessories for my beautiful Nikon D90 camera, the woman behind the counter said something that nearly made me laugh out loud.

Instead of telling me the accessory I was purchasing would reduce vignetting, she said it would reduce vinaigretting. Yep – as in the dressing.

Wow

"...this is the first time ever that we will have a decade where an "indesee" would actually drop..."

Stephanie Elam, CNN news, 12/28/2009, talking about the stock market. I think she meant to say, "index."

One Day At Work

Yesterday at work my boss was talking about a movie he'd seen recently. During his impromptu review, he struggled to think of the river that runs near the White House in Washington, D.C.

Quick to his rescue was one of my co-workers:

CW: "The Botanic."

Then a WTF pause by everyone.

Me: "Huh?"

CW: "The Botanic."

Me: "You mean the Potomac."

Awkward silence as everyone tried to figure out where the hell he got botanic.

Ummm....

“Barack Obama’s success and ability to rise in this is directly attributal to George W. Bush.”

Matt Dowd, Political Analyst, October 24 2008 on Real Time with Bill Maher.

Fight, Fight!

"He picked a rootin' tootin' maverick corruption fighter who has a stellar record of doing exactly that in Alaska, where there's some corruption that needs to be fighted." – Republican strategist Mike Murphy, Meet the Press, 31 August 2008.

Huh?

“He’s an abscounder, he is wanted, and has the potential of being dangerous and that….”

A Texas sheriff talking to television reporters about a fugitive on 8/12/08

It's Raining - It's Pouring

"...Little bits of water..." -- Kristina de Leon, WOAI news, reporting on fog, 22 January, 2008

Ever Been Caught Magistrating?

“But again, Alfred John Brown, charged with murder...just moments ago being magistrated and sitting behind me here in the Bexar County jail.” --Kristina De Leon, WOAI Today, July 6, 2006

Thank you for coining a new verb Kristina. I'll notify Merriam Webster immediately!

Double Header

May 28 2006

These two gems are courtesy of Eric Barajas of KSAT news in San Antonio. They occurred in the local news segment of a Headline News broadcast. The beauty of these two babies is that they were borne of the same story! It’s a safe bet that he (or his writer) didn’t major in English in kollege. Enjoy!

“A twenty-eight-year-old father is accused of allegedly trying to set his own house on fire…”
How does one come to be accused of the act of allegedly setting a fire? Can one actually allegedly set a fire? Somehow I think not.

“He’s in jail on bond for twenty-thousand dollars for two charges of child endangerance.”
Endangerance? You’ve got to be kidding me. They must have an intern writing (and coining) this weekend.

Huh?

"Nuculear" That's nook-you-lear

Scott Heimler (I think) beting interviewed on a local A.M. radio station, April 23rd 2006

Mo' Better

"....much more safer...."

-- Steve Linscomb, WOAI news, trying to relate that the lower level of I-10 had less ice and was safer than the upper level, December 7, 2005

Double Header

I talked to a guy on the phone today about his company replacing a dog kennel his workers destroyed while laying cable in my yard (the dumbasses tried to use it to get over the fence).

He took some information and said he'd call back once he determined if the damage was:

"inadvertent or vertent."

Really?

++++++++++

This morning I was watching a news story about Tookie Williams. A supporter was making a statement and said that Mr. Williams had "Redempted himself."

To Understand

"....I would have understanded...."

--Troy Aikman, December 4, 2005, while commentating on the NY Giants/Dallas Cowboys game